The Oscars 2016 – Live Stream

So it begins, the biggest night of the year in the movie industry, I’m looking forward to seeing how Chris Rock does as host of the 88th Academy Awards and I’m curious to see how I do with regards to my predictions. Maybe I’ll get it a little bit more spot on this year. I wanted to share a video with you all to ease you into the celebrations with a wonderful bit of humour from the folks at Screen Junkies. They have created a fantastically glib and accurate portrayal of the actors and movies nominated, check it out and have a look at their other other Honest Trailers.

Chris Rock will most likely be poking fun at the fact that the hash tag #Oscarssowhite has taken off due to the fact that all of the nominees are white. I hope to be laughing a lot more than last year. We’ll see! I’ll be covering it right here in London with lots of snacks, I cant wait to rip into these. See you all later tonight.

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29/02/2016. 01.30. Here we go! Let’s see how Chris Rock gets on. This is a great opening montage of the years finest movies.

Chris Rock

29/02/2016. 01.44. A really good, really funny and very apt opening monologue from Chris Rock. Well done!

Chris Rock 1

29/02/2016. 01.45. First award is for Best Original Screenplay

And the winner is Spotlight

Spotlight

/29/02/2016. 01.52. Up next is Best Adapted Screenplay. And the winner is The Big Short

Big Short

29/02/2016. 02.03. Sam Smith performing Writing’s on the Wall, presented by Sarah Silverman.

Sam Smith

29/02/2016. 02.10. JK Simmons presenting the Best Supporting Actress award. And the winner is Alicia Vikander.

AppleMark

29/02/2016. 02.20. Time for Best Costume Design, presented by Cate Blanchett. And the winner is Mad Max: Fury Road. Well deserved!

Mad Max Fury Hill

29/02/02016. 02.23. Steve Carell and Tina Fey presenting the award for best production design. Oh I love these two. SO funny! And the winner is Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max

29/02/2016. 02.28. Margot Robbie and Jared Leto presenting the award for Make-Up and Hairstyling. And the winner is Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max Fury Road

29/02/2016. 02.27. Michael B. Jordan and Rachel McAdams presenting the award for Cinematography. And the winner is The Revenant.

Revenant

29/02/2016. 02.39. And up next, Best Editing. And the winner is Mad Max: Fury Road. Well done to this film, really well deserved!

Mad Max

29/02/2016. 02.50. Now for the sound awards: Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. Both Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. And the winner is Mad Max: Fury Road. Well done!

Mad Max Fury Road

29/02/2016/. 02.56. Time for one of my favourites, Visual Effects presented by Andy Serkis. Love him! And the winner is Ex Machina. Well done!

Ex Machina

29/02/2016. 03.08. Best animated short film, presented by The Minions. And the winner is Bear Story!

Bear Story

29/02/2016. 03.11 OH MY GOD!!! Buzz and Woody presenting the award for Best Animated Feature! I’m so happy, I love them so much! And the winner is Inside Out. WOOP WOOP!

Disney?Pixar's "Inside Out" takes us to the most extraordinary location yet - inside the mind of Riley. Like all of us, Riley is guided by her emotions - Anger (voiced by Lewis Black), Disgust (voiced by Mindy Kaling), Joy (voiced by Amy Poehler), Fear (voiced by Bill Hader) and Sadness (voiced by Phyllis Smith). The emotions live in Headquarters, the control center inside Riley's mind, where they help advise her through everyday life. Directed by Pete Docter and produced by Jonas Rivera, "Inside Out" is in theaters June 19, 2015.

29/02/2016. 03.16. Presented by Kevin Hart, The Weekend perform Earned It from Fifty Shades of Grey. Sounding good!

Earned it

29/02/2016. 03.29. Patricia Arquette presenting the award for Best Supporting Actor. And the winner is MARK RYLANCE! YES! So unbelievably well deserved, I’m so happy! GO MARK!

Mark Rylance

29/02/2016. 03.39. Okay, back to it. Louis CK presenting the Best Documentary Short Film. And the winner is A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness. Congratulations.

A Girl in the River the Price of Forgiveness

29/02/2016. 03.41. Dev Patel and Daisy Ridley presenting the award for Best Documentary Feature. And the winner is Amy. Well done!

Amy

29/02/2016. 03.58 A beautiful performance by the immensely talented Dave Grohl. In memoriam this year is truly one of the saddest in years. You will not be forgotten.

Dave Grohl

29/02/2016. 04.06. Time for the Best Live Action short film award. And the winner is Stutterer!

Stutterer

29/02/2016. 04.07. The award for Best Foreign Language film is next. And the winner is Son of Saul!

Son of Saul

29/02/2016. 04.14. Presented by the popular Joe Biden, Lady Gaga performs her song from The Hunting Ground, Til It Happens To You. Great performance!

Lady Gaga

29/02/2016. 04.21. Now Pharrell Willaims (blonde, why??) and Quincy Jones present the award for Best Original Score. And the winner is The Hateful Eight. WHY?!

Hateful Eight

29/02/2016. 04.27. Now it’s time for Best Original Song, presented by Common and John Legend. And the winner is Writing’s on the Wall, by Sam Smith from Spectre.

Writings on the Wall - Spectre

29/02/2016. 04.30. Ali G has made a come back, still pretty funny! Who would have thought that?? Maybe my sense of humour is terrible.  Or maybe he is actually funny!

29/02/2016. 04.37. Oh boy, it’s time for Best Director, presented by JJ Abrams. And the winner is Alejandro González Iñárritu for The Revenant. Woop woop!

Revenant

29/02/2016. 04.47. Getting close to the end and close to bed time! The Best Actress award is next and presented by Eddie Redmayne. And the winner is Brie Larson. WOOP WOOP! So well deserved, what a performance, well done, no one deserves it more than you Brie!

Room(1)

29/02/2016. 04.53. Right, it’s time. Will he get it? Best Actor award presented by Julianne Moore. And the winner is LEONARDO DICAPRIO! YES! FINALLY! Your wait is over! Well done! It’s about bloody time! No more poor Leo!

Leonardo DiCaprio

29/02/2016. 05.01. The final award for tonight. Best Film presented by the awesomely voiced Morgan Freeman. And the winner is Spotlight! Wow! Genuinely shocked but very happy for such a terrific film, it does deserve this award! Congratulations!

Spotlight

29/02/2016. 05.04. Okay, it;s just gone 5am, I don’t have work until Tuesday (yay!) So I’ll be recovering from this late sober night. Congratulations to all of the winners, especially Mad Max, Spotlight, The Revenant and of course to Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s good night from me. Until next time.

Keep. It. Reel.

Does cinema etiquette exist any more?

As she reaches over to whisper her final words to the only man she ever loved, she says “Hahaha!” What the hell was that? Why is she laughing? It’s not her; it’s the person sitting a few rows in front of me. Not this again…

Over the past year, I have been attending the cinema on a regular basis, as I always have. I’ve seen some great films, some shocking films, some sad and Oscar winning films. Amongst the good, comes the bad. But I’m not talking about what I see on the screen, I mean the general movie-going public. Those who put us through hell by talking during vital parts of dialogue, arriving late and leaving to relieve themselves, or grazing on crisps. (Whoever thought of bringing those in as a selection in the lobby deserves a kicking!) Why has going to cinema become so difficult? I now beg that I don’t have any half-wits parading through at the worst times, but most of the time there is someone to ruin the experience. Perhaps some rules need to be followed.

1. No talking from the start of the trailers.

I love watching trailers. Chances are I have seen them before but I still enjoy that thrill of a new film. There was a time when I paid a rather high rate to see the final Harry Potter movie at the cinema in Westfield. My friend and I wanted to see it somewhere special and it’s a truly fantastic screen. Nice and big, plenty of seat, lots of room, better than your average cinema. We sit down and throughout the film, people to our left are talking. On and off during the film. How stupid can people be to not just shut the fuck up during a film? And why the hell would you pay such a steep price to talk to your friends? Fuck off outside you dicks! Excuse that outburst but it pisses me off!

2. No noisy food at all.

It’s as bad as those who eat crisps ion the cinema. I once heard the Alfred Hitchcock banned popcorn from his films. I don’t know how true this is but it’s an interesting concept. No food at all in the cinema. Popcorn isn’t too bad, you can be careful with it; you can eat it quietly if you put a little effort in. But things like crisps are absurd! The rustling of the bag, the rattling around the bag trying to find a few crisps and finally crunching it in your mouth. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Really? You bought crisps? Another reason intelligence tests should be taken by all those entering the screen. Idiots.

3. Everyone’s phone is to be placed in a locker outside of the screen and it will be returned after the film has finished.

During an advanced screening of Prometheus that I was lucky enough to snag a free ticket to, my phone, along with everyone else’s, was taken off of them put into a little plastic bag and stored until after the screening had ended. They did this so they could keep the secrets of Ridley Scott’s return to the sci-fi genre and rightly so. A real film fan will never want a plot ruined or an end given away, no matter how over hyped a film may be. So after it ended we queued up, most of us patient enough, collected our phones and left. Very simple, no hassle, no stress. Is this too much to ask of everyday cinema? If we did give up our phones, which no one should be using at all whilst being entertained, no longer would we notice that glow in the corner of our eye, or hear the vibration or god forbid a ringtone at the most inopportune moments. Perhaps removing the phone from a person is going a step too far. But it’s still worth thinking about.

4. No leaving the screen at any point after the trailer have begun and no arriving late.

If you have a bladder the size of a child’s maybe the cinema isn’t the place for you. Think of somewhere you can go and have fun move around as much as you want without disturbing anyone else. A bar? A pub? A club? Just go outside? Getting up to relieve yourself and returning moments later seems very strange doesn’t it? You leave and miss part of the film to do something you could have done before you sat down. You can’t rewind, you can’t pause, and you can’t stop. You miss a few minutes. To me, that could potential ruin the film, I wouldn’t exactly be lost but I don’t want to think that I haven’t seen something vital. This then causes the problem of talking, again. Does it ever end?!

These rules I have come up with may be extreme but I’m sure most if not all of you can relate to inconsiderate tossers who we come across at the most awful times. We all put up with the intolerances of everyday life but when it comes to the cinema should we not leave it all at the door, walk through, sit down, shut up and watch? Or am I wrong? Maybe we will come to a time when we need these rules but until then either endure it or do what I did once, yell for them to shut the fuck up.

Keep It Reel.